How Fionn Met the Equality Brigade

Dear journal,

TodA, methinks I ha' lernd tha leters wel enuf tha I wil bE Abl to luk at wat I ha writ and remMber what thA sA. I think me kelda spOk wIs wen she bAd me wrIt te remMber what I did, but O wAlE if e'er what I wrIt is tAken in a com-pli-cat-ed doc-U-ment!

TodA ha been quIt tha day! Leosin bAd me fallO tha caravan, and sO I did. Tha path I follOed led me to a hOl army o' muilemhagun, o' biggun tOds. I used wat me kelda that me, and was able to snEk past them, but it was all I cood do to no cry wAlE! Me thot I would dre me wyrd at there hands fins flippers spErs! I thot thA were marchin te tAk the casel casl castle, bu nau I do no think so NEmore. Within tha castle I fond a groop of pEpl. Methinks they R truly me wyrd group, for sur they are wErd! When I told them wAlE, thar be a group o biggum tOds, 'n' te run, thA did no! ThA tuk most o a minute te ask hu I was 'n' if thA cud trust me! For shur, if e'er I hEr a wAlE 'n' RUN, I naer ask queshions queshtons who is shoutin, 'n' jus run, if awA from the danger, gud, i' to the danger, bettR!

In tIm we ran down to the dunjon, 'n' Kieran fel into a puddle, trippin o'er sumthin I dinnae sE thar bEfor. WE faut an eabarun, thO methinks the oothers hEr call it a SLIME. Wit tha big group, i wen doun EZ. Then wE met wit sum biggun tOds, undr the castle! I dinnae sE what happn'd, bu methinks Ril kiled them quik. WE then slid doon a hil o mood, 'n' methinks Ril used Sam as a sled! Ril can be varry intrsting! At the botom o the hil, thar was a hUg pile o' laghairtun, oor LIZARDFOLK, bEin Eten bI the biggun tOds! The biggun tOds alredE had the land undr the castle!

We walked arund thar lAk, 'n' found Snapjaw, hoo is Kieran's friend. WE also found wat methinks was the biggun tOd's kelder, 'n' he was sacrificin' Snapjaw! Nau, I rspect other kelders, bu I naer lIk sacrificin things, 'specIlY things tha nae wanna be sacrificed, so me 'n' Kieran hEled Snapjaw, and e'eryone defended theyselvs from the biggun tOds all 'round. Wen thA wer all ded, I found some new armer!, 'n' the oothrs loooked foor moor gold 'n' things! (I M findin many OOO's in a roow is foon te wrIt!) Many jRs fel from the rooof, and Ril got some wIt poudr in her face, then strtd atakin us! Methinks tha scard me most of all that happnd tedA! Then I remMbrd wer the portl was (oh, aye, thar was a portl undr the castle we wantd to get te te get oot). WE went throo, and I M rIting this on the oothr side!

I M nau with a vary divers group. ThA are:

Ril: she is vary sneakE, 'n' methink I can learn from her. But she hides from a fight, and I do nae think that is gud, e'en thO the biggun tOds died faster when she did. MabE she is not hIdin from the fightin!

Sam: She sEms nice, and is wilin te be Ril's platform (thank ye Kieran fer helpin me spell that!). I M wonderin why....

Kieran: He is nae vary trustin, 'n' sometimes clumsE, bu he is luial loial loyel does a lot for his friends

Alooshtis AlUchis Allooshis thar I a man that is all blue, bu I nae think he is family. He likes water, and is varry quIet.

Snapjaw: He is a laghairtun, 'n' has the tawkin' o' the lAk folk wE usd te borO fish from!

Fionn

p.s. If e'er this is ta'en te cort, this is NAE a con-fesh-ion! I lI all the tIm, an' ye canno trust tha things I say OOR wrIt! I di nae do it!